Wednesday, January 30, 2008

how reading happens (or does not)


About seven or eight weeks ago, I checked out 'Death on the Installment Plan' by Louis-Ferdinand Celine from the public library. I had been intending to read this book for some time, as I had read another Celine novel a few years past and had claimed it as one of my favorites--before I even had finished the first five pages, I believe.



Except I did not voraciously devour Celine: his words, his style, his embleakened blackness (full disclosure: "embleakened" is made up)--not at all as I anticipated I would. There were reasons, I am sure. Reasons: I had also checked out another book on the same day (Kundera!) and had taken yet one more on loan from a friend. I began to read the Celine almost immediately, but I had not progressed very far when I began to eschew Celine for the others. By the time I completed 'Slowness' by Kundera, I had purchased another book: 'Difficult Loves' by Italo Calvino--a collection of wonderfully-detailed and lovingly written short stories by the Cuban-born Italian master. This tome summoned my fancy, and before I could even explain a word to Celine--an apology... a yell of "i'll be back! i promise!" as I was being swept away on the train to Rome...anything at all--I was happier with Calvino. Life was several shades brighter.

Initially, when I hesitated about going on with the Celine, I was not making a value judgment per se, rather I was concerned mostly for my mood. While Celine is incredibly funny, he is more consistently, simply--dark. Charred. Blackened. Left in the oven for four days at four hundred and forty degrees. Then zapped in the microwave. You know, for good measure. I was concerned for my mood, I say. So concerned that I actually had a brief affair with a collection of love sonnets by Pablo Neruda, and I am certainly not a "poetry person" mind you, my fair reader. I gather that I was really tightening up at Celine's endless declarations that every human being (especially he himself) is a dirty scoundrel, a blackguard. I needed to breathe, and my air had been too thickened by venomous, sickly declarations on the avariciousness of humanity.

I was not enjoying Celine. How could this be?! A Supreme talent! Let us zoom out, hold on a longer shot for a bit: some more context: Around roughly the same time I acquired Celine, I had started to work four nights a week doing overnight shifts at an opulent condominium building in downtown Minnepolis. Most of my "work" consisted of watching "Seinfeld" and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" reruns, reading, writing, or raiding the building's custodial supplies for my personal, at-home use. In any case, I noticed that I was entirely, utterly devoid of any interest in reading the Celine while I was sitting at work. Yet, I would bring out the Celine while zooming to and fro work on the train (or even ambling along on the 22-bus). Wait: it would be incorrect to say that I noticed this phenomenon at the time. This idea, this connection I want to reveal came about just tonight as I hunkered down in my bedroom in an attempt to slosh through the muddy rue de Celine. Turns out, I could not get myself to concentrate. And I know that I have been enjoying the Celine more recently, as I am finally just over one hundred pages shy of conclusion. But I finally put my fingers on the pulse of the problem: motion (or lackthereof). That is to say, I have found the book much more agreeable while being whisked about by one form of conveyance or another.

To elucidate: one key aspect of Celine's writing concerns his sense of style. He made no mistake of convincing any one he ever spoke to about his writing, that he was wholly committed to inventing and incubating a distinct style--and thereby invigorating what he viewed as a stagnant medium--writing. To give an idea of what a typical paragraph looks like in a Celine novel, here is an excerpt from 'Death':

At the venereal clinic we used to mark vertical bars on a big sheet of paper as we went along . . . That was all there was too it. A red stroke: Salvarsan. Green: mercury. And so on. The rest was routine . . . All we had to do was pump the juice into their buttocks or the bend of their arms . . . It was like larding a roast. Green! . . . Arm! Yellow . . . get those pants down! . . . Red! . . . Both buttocks . . . Another on in the ass! . . . Ditto! Bismuth! Blue! Dripping vein! Swine! Get those pants one! . . . Swab that arm! . . . The rhythm was merciless. Batches and batches of them . . . Endless lines . . . Limp cocks . . . pricks . . . dripping peckers . . . oozing. Festering . . . Starched sheets, as stiff as cardboard! Clap! . . . Queen of the world! The ass is its throne! Heated summer and winter! . . .

Celine used ellipses heavily. Even many paragraphs are not really paragraphs based on conventional definitions. They just trail off with ellipses. Sentences do not end. There are no sentences. Well, few, anyway. The connection, to get back to my point, is the rhythm. Celine's writing has a stylistic rhythm, in 'Death' at least, all its own and a reader is properly suited to read it only while traveling. Celine's exclamations bounce off the page in proper sync with the gentle, and sometimes jarring bumps created by the bus and the boulevard.

Sadly, Celine has been with me too long and through too many renewals, more than the library can handle. So I must return it tomorrow; and I am sure that I will crack it open once the bus driver's foot hits the gas.

I am curious, to anyone that might be reading: Have there been any books in your life that required a particular setting for you to effectively read them? Any comments about an author's use of style or syntax, in which any attempt at reading said author required a seventy-four degree, partly cloudy June day with a dewpoint of sixty-five degrees?

Monday, January 14, 2008

you to me

what I like best is the seam

which runs around quietly

excusing itself and ignored

by all the professions

that your body can be.

It soaks you all up

and your displaced smile

and your anxious purpous

they find their way into my delirious

inner negotiations:



a boy made out of bits and pieces, an engine, a turkey



and glasses to steal from the cupboards



as you approach me, walking through grass and crustaceans



why you found me at this center, you probably planned it, job training



you acknowledge me before I wake, this is the only place that I can access your needs, and you bring them to me.

Friday, January 4, 2008

you can bet it is a bitch, kid.

the reason it has taken so long to follow my initial post and too much's subsequent post: the sheerly ridiculous verbosity displayed by mr. too much. and to think that his shit is actually quite fucking coherent. mind-bending, it is.
and i don't even have anything that i really want say right now. really. nothing. i got nothin' my eyes are foggy and heavy and i have to pee. so i'm leaving now. but in the future, shit's gonna get real analytical concerning these and maybe other topics: No Country for Old Men, Yo La Tengo, politics (ugh), anal fisting (probably not though), jens lekman, girls, women, robbing old people (they're feeble and their faculties are fading fast!), and love (that's right jerks. i have feely-thingies), unmitigated hostility toward unknown internet users and possible blog-readers, and space heaters (too lazy to heat the entirety of a building, are ya?!?).

the urine is now dribbling down my thigh...gotta ru

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I can't be more retarded

I've got the same christmas card from one of my wisconsin aunts, entirely blank but for the front cover, which has four tiny pictures in the rudimentary shape of a stupid face. a gold ornament for the right eye, a red wrapped gift for the left, a green christmas tree for a nose, and a candy cane for the asymmetrical mouth. all boxed in a faintly outlined green and red rectangle. I hated it so much as soon as I saw it, and now it will never leave me, I'm just going to keep hiding it where it will occur and occur again- the moment you see it, it disappears because there is nothing to see anymore. at some point, some magical day, i won't see a face at all, the coersive spacing will cease deciphering itself despite my laziness.



(its existence has already neutralized all my brain power)

inhabitatione le consciousness

"ooh OOH ooh, woh-oh-oh, oooh OOOH ooh, a higher power"

I am writing about a song by a Swedish poppist, the Lekman; the story of a love discovered as divine through blasphemous acts of irrational ecstasy.
"In church on Sunday making out in front of the preacher/You had a black shirt on with a big picture of Nietzsche/When we had done our thing for a full christian hour/ I had made up my mind that there must be a higher power"



I'm on a god kick: yesterday I woke up and watched Bergman's Winter Light, a film that worships god in the only way I regard meaningful, ridiculing every solidified notion determined by the christian institution: trust in a creator that has created so much sorrow, participation in the holy communion between characters without any hope of communicating their hopelessness, and punctuating the revelation of godlessness with the suicide of Max von Sydow, Bergman's devout knight of ceaseless hope and terrible vengeance.

I also enjoyed "The Virgin Spring", which is back, as far as I understand it, in medieval Sweden. Two images from that film are still with me weeks later. After the revelation of his daughter's rape and murder, Max von Sydow leaves his family and wordlessly approaches a lone ash tree; the ambivalence of his place and intention, his purpose for the tree, one might fathom, in each of their solitudes, his and the tree's, may be a sort of pained repentance, a focus on young beauty, the tree is only a few years old... growing as true and healthy as his his untainted daughter before her murder.




But, as we see, the violence must be consecrated through the sapling's brutal destruction- not with the elegance of a blade, the tree is ripped down by Von Sydow's broken heart and merciless hands. The struggle endures a poignant lapse of terrible bending, powerless, but ceaseless exertion, in one direction, but back the other, back and forth the tree is categorically doomed, weakening and weakening in the knight's hands until its foundation is irreparably compromised, and the young plant rests on the ground, to whither on its lonely bluff. I find this scene infinitely more poignant as a representation of violence than almost any human to human representation; it even might trump cruelty to animals, which always inspires faces pinched with disgust, gut-reactions of coercive vengeful energy, loud cries of incoherent anger, etc. To compare these representations, one has to contextualize the inspirations for violence. In the gut-reaction to defend the life of a weaker "loved-thing," the polarity of good and evil is definite and simple: kill the cruel fucker. The energy crescendos and climaxes like an orgasm of hatred, which it is.


When Von Sydow approaches the tree, his hatred is either concealed or neutralized. His energy is not chaotic, but persistent, and in the context of the film, resigned and fateful. It occurs within a context of immense, inexpressible sorrow- in that the evil is internalized, the color of the pain is understood as unfathomable, in how Von Sydow's act occurs in silence: the destruction is not accomplished with a naive intuition that all will be set right again, but with a determination reflecting the irrevocable weight of all that has occurred in this life that up until then was governed by a just and loving god: this violence against nature consummates the fear that god has retreated and left humans to fend for themselves. call it existential violence, sublimated vengeance.

The other, literally magical scene is the final miracle at the site of the virgin's death, and I'm going to pretend to work now so let's look at that later.